Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Big Brother 7 All-Stars! Alexis' Guilty Pleasure of the Summer

My absolute favorite guilty pleasure is back! Big Brother is back on the air tonight. This season should be especially great for me because it’s an All-Star season of past cast members. I have watched every episode of Big Brother since season one, back when me and two other people were the only ones watching. Since then, I’ve watched the ratings grow and the rules change. Now America decides who competes. We have 20 former Houseguests to choose from including 5 from last season alone! I thought I’d list who I predict will be chosen and why.

Dr. Will - season 2 winner – Not only was Will hot (Orlando Bloom crossed with Adam Brody and Ron Livingston), but he played a great game. He managed to lie to every single person in the house and was nominated nearly every single time and he still won the game. He is built to play on Big Brother. It will definitely be a great summer with Will back in the game!

Marcellas – season 3 favorite – Marcellas was probably the most likeable cast member in history. He was charming and charismatic, funny, sweet, and told amazing stories. He was made for television. It was a complete tragedy when he unselfishly decided not to use the Veto to save himself and was subsequently voted out. He will be a great identification point for the audience, but that might also make him a big target in the game.

Kaysar – season 6 fan favorite – Even typing Kaysar’s name is hot! No cast member has ever been hotter than this sexy smart Iraqi. He will go down in history as one of the most popular cast members of all time. In fact, people were so outraged upon his eviction by that horrible “Friend Sheep” group that CBS let America vote him back into the house by an overwhelming 82%! Unfortunately for us, this might make him a major target when he gets back into the game this season.

Janelle – season 6 buxom blonde – Janie and Kaysar were like the Brangelina of the Big Brother house. They were hot and smart and played the hell out of the game. They formed an unlikely friendship and managed to torture the Friend Sheep for weeks on end! What was best about Janie was that she was a team player 100%. The two times Kaysar got voted out, she was there to take vengeance on the annoying jerks who did it.

Howie – season 6 Jedi master – Howie may not have been the smartest guy in the house that season, or the best looking, but Howie had personality to spare. He was hilarious and sweet at the same time as being offensive and chauvinistic, truly an accomplishment. His Star Wars analogies reminded you of a classic nerd, but the way he taunted Busto (AKA April) was more like the smart-ass jock at your high school. Howie could go far in this game because people frequently underestimate him.

James – season 6 master manipulator – While James’ strategy was essentially the same as Dr. Will’s, he would make a great adversary to the Evil Doctor this time around. There can only be one King of the Liars and it would be so fun to watch them battle it out.

Jase – season 5 “man-dana” wearing monkey boy – Jase was loud and obnoxious and completely annoying, but for some reason he was able to stay on the audience’s good side because he was also funny. While a lot of his humor seemed unintentional, his weird behavior and diary room clips were incredibly amusing. In the end, it was great to watch Jase get exactly what was coming to him in one of the greatest reveals of BB history. When he discovered that the girl he’d just been screaming at was actually a set of twins who had been playing the game as one person, the look on his face was just like the Mastercard commercials… priceless.

Nakomis­ – season 5 genius – Nakomis came into the house as the goth kid outcast and managed to get everyone on her side because of her careful planning and strategizing. She is most well known as the inventor of the “Six Finger Plan”, something that is attempted, but never successfully pulled off, by contestants to this day. In this plan, she nominated two of her own people ensuring that her side would win the Veto, then the actual target would have no way of getting off the chopping block once evictions came. While her outward style might not fit in, I could see her aligning with Kaysar’s group and playing a smart game all the way to the end.

Alison – season 4 runner up and uber bitch – It hurts me to say it, but I think America won’t be able to resist watching this horrible Tanya Harding wannabe club her way to the top once again. While there’s no way I can bring myself to voting for her, I know people will want to see how she’ll interact with smart guys who won’t fall for her creepy seduction like Kaysar and Will. I wouldn’t count on her making it very far because everyone knows her game.

Mike “Boogie” – season 2 douche and media whore – In case you didn’t know, and haven’t heard him say it a million times, Mike is a friend and business partner of Aston Kutcher. While he apparently has a fan base, Mike always rubbed me the wrong way because of his enormous ego. The real star of season 2 was Will and everyone knows that, everyone except for Mike.

Lisa – season 3 winner – Lisa was the only player to ever play a fair game and win the $500,000. She was beautiful, smart, and always sweet. She managed to fly under the radar, even when she was the one nominating people for eviction. If she plays the same kind of game, Lisa could get far in this game, but because she’s already won, America might not let her enter the house again.

Dianne – season 5 tough girl – Little diminutive Dianne could go head to head with the vapid guys on the show and she could take down the girls too. She didn’t take crap, and that was something great, but in the end, she got played… by her own boyfriend! This left us all wondering if it was really strategy that got her so far, or just dumb luck. She’d be a bit of a wildcard and it would be nice to see if she could stir things up this season.

While these are just my predictions, my hope is that Kaysar and Dr. Will will get voted back in and that one of the two will win. That seems very doubtful seeing as everyone knows they’re good players, and that’ll make them easy targets in the house.

If you read this blog, and even if you’ve never seen Big Brother before, go to CBS.com to vote for one of the people in red above and be sure to watch this season starting July 6th on CBS!